A few years ago, I facilitated a psilocybin session with an individual who, on the surface, appeared to have everything in order. Successful, articulate, and seemingly thriving in life, he was the type of person one might assume was doing well. However, beneath this polished veneer lay a profound, long-standing depression that had persisted despite years of therapy, self-development, and attempts to manage it through sheer willpower.
In his 50s, with his children grown and a loving wife by his side, he possessed a strong understanding of himself. Years of therapy had equipped him with insights into his behavioural patterns and the origins of certain emotional wounds. Despite this self-awareness, he felt stuck, describing his life as generally good yet overshadowed by a persistent heaviness and an omnipresent black cloud. While he expressed gratitude for his life, he struggled to shake off frequent low moods and a lack of vitality.
During the retreat, he shared his experiences, as he had many times before. He acknowledged the inherent challenges of life, recognising its ups and downs, yet something felt immovable. However, during our psilocybin session, a significant transformation occurred.
He became incredibly still, as if an internal pause had taken place. As facilitators, it can sometimes be challenging to discern what an individual is experiencing, yet there are moments when a noticeable shift is palpable, lightening the energy in the room. Following the journey, he articulated a profound realization.
What he felt was not new information, nor was it a hidden memory or a dramatic revelation; it was grief. This was grief he had discussed extensively, analyzed from various perspectives, and intellectually understood, yet had never fully experienced. In that altered state of consciousness, something softened within him.
His usual defenses, the incessant thinking, and the need for control receded. For the first time, he allowed himself to confront the emotions that had lingered beneath the surface for years. Tears flowed, and a release occurred. During the journey, he had a vision of his father taking his hand, allowing him to symbolically process and ultimately let go of his grief.
Afterward, he shared a profound insight that has resonated with me ever since: “I’ve talked about this for years, but this is the first time I’ve actually been in it.” This moment encapsulated a fundamental aspect of healing work.
We often presume that healing stems from a deeper understanding of ourselves. We seek the right explanations, frameworks, and insights. While comprehension is valuable, it is not always sufficient. Sometimes, wounds reside not in thought but in the body, emotions, nervous system, and experiences that were never fully processed at the time they occurred. When this is the case, mere intellectual understanding cannot facilitate healing.
Healing may require a different state of being, a state where the mind quiets, where the body feels safe enough to release, and where emotions can flow freely rather than being managed. It is a state in which we cease to observe our pain from a distance and instead confront it directly. This is very difficult to do in modern society, we don’t give ourselves the space and the time to feel fully. Life is full of distractions and comforts and it takes a lot of courage to step out of those and into full feeling.
This is one reason altered states of consciousness whether induced by psychedelics, breathwork, meditation, or other practices can be exceptionally powerful. Especially with the right set and setting and approached with skill. Such states do not magically heal us, but they can create conditions conducive to healing. Often, the breakthrough is not a new idea; rather, it is the experience of finally feeling what has been present all along.
Many people have similar stories working through grief and other difficult emotions. If you feel the call to join our retreat but are still unsure, get in touch for a free call to talk it through here.
I have nothing but positive things to say about the Inward Bound team and experience. Having undertaken many similar retreats in the past this one is where I have felt most supported. The focus on integration is hugely beneficial and we were guided through starting this process whilst at the center and continuing on after leaving. The team were a lovely mix of personalities and hugely passionate about what they do. The food was delicious and nutricious. The location and center was calm and peaceful. I would highly recommend Inward Bound. Thank you all.
Our facilitator, Rob, brought an energy of ease and loving kindness to each of the day’s activities. The ceremony experience was performed with deep reverence and care. Through the challenge of digging deeper into my healing processes, Rob was a steady guide, knowing just when and how to speak, change the music, or to step back and trust the medicine.
It’s not always easy to trust, especially when taking a leap to try something so new and far outside my comfort zone. But Rob earned that trust. A true healer, I believe that my psychedelic experience was profoundly enhanced by the gentle knowing presence of Rob. I felt so held.
The conclusion of the experience was not one of abandonment. The integration process with Inwardbound has been one of continuous support. Through journaling prompts, books, exercises, group calls, and media references I have found myself able to make a lasting impact on my daily life through the insights I gained during my journeys.
Though I feel that I am still wholly entrenched in my journey of integration, I know that one day my path will lead me back to the wondrous experience of plant medicines.
There is no doubt in my mind that I will choose to do that future experience with Rob and the Inwardbound team.
Rob, thank you. The deep peace in my heart honours the deep peace in your heart. 💛J
Although I was nervous at first about attending the retreat with complete strangers and sharing such a personal journey, I have to say that this was exactly what made the experience so special. Each and every person influenced my journey in their own unique and beautiful way, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. I was especially grateful to experience two ceremonies, as this allowed me to go deeper into my journey.
Also, the food at the retreat was incredible. I have eaten at vegan restaurants that didn’t serve food nearly as delicious. I enjoyed every single meal, without exception.
I am so grateful for this magical experience and often think back to it, the people and what it thought me about myself. I couldn’t recommend it more.
The people are the thing that makes it though. On the retreat you develop this unique relationship with a group of people who were strangers to you the day before. And the facilitators are just so attuned to what is going on- you feel safe and supported in whatever personal journey you go on.
And don’t forget about the amazing journey They were able to guide us on.
Highly recommended for anyone that wants to make a transformation in their life
The venue was great, providing all one needs for a retreat like this: beautiful nature, comfortable room, spacious common spaces, delicious healthy food, etc.
I am forever grateful to the amazing Inwardbound team (Rob, Helena and Kalyani) for creating this safe, loving and supportive ceremonial space that allowed me to have this magical, l ife changing experience.
What a profound journey!
The team, headed by Darragh, are such a special combination of truly dedicated and extraordinary people, whose ability to hold space cannot be matched. I really appreciated the equal mix of male and female facilitators – something I hadn’t fully grasped the importance of during the experience, but I am so, so grateful for in hindsight.
Truly the best money you will ever spend. The depth of the collective experience and group sharing was profound. I have so much gratitude to everyone who participated, and of course to the plant medicine that knows all 🍄